“Country, the UK, lost its way, seeks life partner/mentor/inspiration. Good sense of humour essential. No timewasters, tedious show-offs or offend-o-trons need apply. HR free zone.”

Standing up so you don't have to take it lying it down anymore, the Pub Landlord is back to make sense of the questions you probably already had the answers to.

You know what they say: There’s no school like the old school, with the dodgy overflowing toilets.